holeh crap its lj whaaat.
So, not news to anyone who actually speaks to me or pays attention to my fb, but I had a heart attack last August/September related directly to complications with diabetes. Basically my sugar levels were in the 200-300 range for liiiiike, uh, 10 years straight. This is what I get for assuming feeling the best I have ever felt in my life was a good thing.
So, yeah, that happened. Had an emergency angiogram, now have a stent in place and part of the lower section of my heart is damaged, but life goes on. Medicated, but it goes. Since that incident, though, I feel like it was the first Jenga block to topple over and now I'm just sitting in a pile of the ruins that were my teens and 20's. I've taken that last final step into grownup-land, and it sucks because its all just downhill from here.
I mean, it probably seems completely normal to a lot of other people, but for me, actually giving a shit about my body and how healthy it happens to be was this huge sign that I'm no longer young or carefree and I can't just fuck around and do whatever I want anymore. I'd already done the other big life things that walk you up the steps to grownupland, and this was really the last one, unless I do something stupid and decide to buy a house and get a mortgage. Well, I guess there's also having kids, but Katy is in no way ready or willing to even talk about that, so there's a good chance I'll never have them. But that's fine, honestly, lots of people grow old and never have kids, its not the end of humanity.
Anyway. It seems that the heart attack gave the rest of my body permission to start fucking up all over the place. Well, its possible some of these problems were already started and I just didn't know it because I never went to doctors. But some things I can for-sure say happened because and/or at least started after the heart attack, such as my brand new acid reflux giving me mild chest pain almost all the time, or my worsening depression (my cardiologist says he researched the fact that depression and heart attacks are like bff's and depression will worsen either right before or right after heart attacks, which just sucks), my snoring has gotten worse (as reported by Katy), and my heart meds make the circulation in my arms just fucking STOP all the time, leaving me with surprise dead arms. YAY.
What I've also been dealing with in the months since my heart attack, medically: ring worm spattered all over my damn torso, a massive infection on my ladyparts for 2+ weeks that was followed by my period and the most painful rash ever from wearing a pad for the entire length of those two things, dealing with the fun associated with huge diet changes, and now it seems that my left eye is magically growing blood vessels in itself because of my diabetes and I have to have some laser treatments done to burn them out before I go completely blind. Actually, doc says its not that bad yet, but not shutting that shit down now will mean blindness later because its getting worse.
I can't wait to see what other parts of me my body decides it doesn't want anymore. v_v Just watch... the only thing more prevalent in my family than diabetes is cancer. *sigh* sayonara, boobs. :(